What are Limiting Beliefs?

Recall a time that you made a mistake, got negative feedback, or felt embarrassed or insecure. We’ve all had these moments. What were the first thoughts that popped into your head at that time? Often, our reflexive thought is quite negative and our programming convinces us that: “no one likes me”, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m too much”, or “I’m unloveable”. These are all examples of limiting beliefs, usually painful and negative core beliefs about ourselves, that are generally subconscious and dictate how we interact with others and ourselves. 

These negative beliefs usually show up as automatic thoughts and appear almost without our awareness or conscious thinking. They are so automatic because they are hardwired in our brains and usually learned at a very young age. Beginning in childhood (and sometimes infancy), our bodies take in information from the outside world and then store this internal knowledge about ourselves, our safety, and the world to validate or strengthen the limiting belief. Unfortunately, if our core beliefs are negative, we have a large storage file with all of the examples or “reasons” we are not good enough, unworthy, or unloveable. Our bodies tend to hold onto these beliefs that are formed at a very young age and in a specific environment and carry them forward into our interactions. This can look like hunching our shoulders in a new situation, feeling like we’re wearing a mask or fake smile in social situations, or having a pit in our stomach when attention is focused on us. 

Understandably, the impact of limiting beliefs can be significant. They can keep us feeling stuck in our jobs or relationships; feeling like we have to keep working harder to prove ourselves; feeling like an “imposter” who everyone will eventually figure out; or bracing for eventual rejection or abandonment. Thankfully, we also have the power to correct, shift, and reprogram these beliefs. Through EMDR and sensorimotor psychotherapy, we can rewire and install new, more accurate, and truthful beliefs that help us to feel a deep sense of worthiness, confidence, and lovability. If you are struggling with the impact of limiting beliefs, please contact me for a free consultation and take the first step toward self-acceptance and self-love.